City of Charlotte: Weak, Flaccid, and Gross: Editorial Response to Charlotte...
By NORM D. GUERRE 12/30/2016 Charlotte, NC – In an otherwise virile yet civilized state, we here at Ungrammared have to respond to the City of Charlotte’s most recent abhorrence....
View ArticleMeryl Streep Returns to Mount Olympus
By EMILE KLINGER 10 JANUARY 2017 ANCIENT MACEDONIA – After descending to Earth to scold mortals for their choices in political leaders, Meryl Streep returned...
View ArticlePROTEST UPDATE: Houses Go Dirty; Suppers Unserved in Oakwood, PRCP, Mordecai
By T.J. ECKLEBURG RALEIGH – Thousands of angry, oddly shaped, usually bespectacled women took to the streets of Raleigh over the last few days to protest the peaceful transition of power by way of a...
View ArticleMcFarlane to Build ITB Wall; Cary and Brier Creek to Pay
RALEIGH – In a move deemed long overdue by some supporters, Raleigh mayor Nancy McFarlane announced Friday that construction of an ITB wall would begin this summer. With the stroke of a pen, COR...
View ArticleUNC-CH Students Resort to Bottled Water Tainted with Malt and Corn
CHAPEL HILL — Friday night, officials with the Orange Water and Sewer Authority (OWASA) said water will not be safe for Chapel Hill students until at least Saturday afternoon due to a shutdown of the...
View ArticleAsk N.C. State Athletic Director Debbie Yow
Dear Athletic Director Yow: My boyfriend and I have been together for about six years. He has his good points, but he’s inconsistent in his affections and I’m not sure he’s totally committed to me....
View ArticleCooper Trumps the Fake News at Press Conference
By TOWNSEND WOODHULL RALEIGH – Governor Roy Cooper held a press conference from the steps of the North Carolina Capitol this Friday morning. At times Cooper became combative and unnecessarily...
View Article“A Day Without A Woman” Leaves Mayo Unseen Right in the Very Front of the...
By GIDEON DUSENBURY RALEIGH – “Where the hell is my sammich?” came the cries from numerous hungry male mouths in farflung corners of North Carolina, as A Day Without a Woman put the brakes on meal...
View ArticleN.C. State Begins Search for 2022 Replacement of Kevin Keatts
RALEIGH – Current NCSU interim head basketball coach Kevin Keatts just signed a multi-year lease on an ITB apartment close to his new job at State but also near I-40 “…for quick access to RDU. I expect...
View ArticleUngrammared’s Tips For Staying Safe in the Heat
By BILLY N. FORCEY, Staff Meteorologist RALEIGH – Mercury is rising! (And Scorpio is also in ascension. Taurus is in the house of Saturn, so attention to detail is more important than ever.) With a hot...
View ArticleUngrammared Presents (a little late) the 2017 State Fair Music Lineup!
It’s nearly getting close to almost State Fair time! Actually, it’s already here, but the music editor just came down from a five-day shroom high and the press strike is finally over, so we can at long...
View ArticleIn Shocking Election, White Incumbent Defeats African-American Challenger
BY RUSTIN COHLE RALEIGH – In what has been described as the upset of the century, Mayor Nancy McFarlane defeated local black attorney Charles Francis in Tuesday’s mayoral runoff election. “I thought...
View ArticleCary Really Hoping There’s No Evidence Charles Manson Grew Up There
CARY, NC – On the heels of finding out it once helped nurture Kevin Neal – the shooter who killed five people on November 14 in California – the town of Cary is hoping desperately there’s no connection...
View ArticleUSDOL Projection: 100% Male Unemployment By 2019
By JAKE PERALTA WASHINGTON – The Bureau of Labor Statistics issued a grim warning yesterday as Matt Lauer, Garrison Keillor, half of Congress, every male at BuzzFeed, most Hollywood producers and 99%...
View ArticleProtestors topple statue of local sex offender
By Warren Tidly-Timid CHARLOTTE – Protesters here have toppled a statue of a local sex and racial sensitivities offender, Panthers Owner Jerry Richardson, during a #MeToo rally against sexual...
View ArticleUngrammared Outdoors™ Presents: How to attract the most popular birds to your...
RALEIGH – A birdfeeder is one of the most common sights in a garden, and a great way to get birds to hang out in your yard. Everyone likes birds in their patch of earth, but how exactly do you get...
View ArticleUngrammared’s Tips for Staying Safe in the Snow and Ice
By BILLY N. FORCEY, Staff Meteorologist and former Boy Scout Raleigh (and the rest of the state, presumably) are currently covered in ice, snow, and either sleet or freezing rain, which are apparently...
View ArticleNoFo, Rialto, Lilly’s Pizza, Underwood Elementary to be Razed
By CRAIG MILLAR RALEIGH – Mayor Nancy McFarlane announced at a press conference that the City planned on approving a rezoning request from Hayes Barton Baptist Church to demolish six houses on White...
View ArticleRaleigh City Council Approves “The Big Ditch” Concept
By DOLORES ABERNATHY RALEIGH – Mayor Nancy McFarlane joined a majority of the City Council here in approving a multi-year, $200B project that will create “The Big Ditch,” a meandering,...
View ArticleBlack Families Routinely Separated at Prison; America Watches World Cup
By CRAIG MILLAR DETROIT, CHICAGO and ELIZABETH CITY – DOJ officials sounded an alarm from these and other locales to Congress Wednesday that apparently, in accordance with federal law, black children...
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